Perplexity in all things

Desire and Growth

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 01:30:05 +0100

Success. Getting what you want. Achieving your goals. Whatever you call it, how do you define this, this concept of doing well in life? Getting the results you want? Acquiring a new skill or level of skill? Attaining a new outlook? Getting a job? Money? Ranking higher than someone else at something? It is all of these things, yet simultaneously it is none of these.

I do not believe in success in the material or sense of the word, only growth. Simply getting a result does not prove or mean anything. There is a saying, “Do not go through life, grow through life.” If a man makes a winning on the stock market, that is a success. If a runner attains a 1st place gold medal, that is success. When a man meets a woman, goes through the process of dating and wooing her, and asks her to marry him, and she says yes, that is success.

Success is a test for your growth. If you cannot achieve a certain result, you may need to grow. Most people I have met only look for success, they aren’t willing to fully commit to growing. Likewise, others place too much emphasis on success, as though other people actually care about it, or like it really matters in the grand scheme of the universe.

So what then do I mean by growth, you may ask. Growth is whatever you want to call it. That is simply the word I am choosing to manifest the concept I understand that is in the dimension of my mind through my fingers and onto the computer screen before you.

Construction, advancement, enrichment, and even enlightenment are all words which can be used instead of growth. What I am talking about is a rather different approach on the world. People will happily glide through school, do exams, take part in social activities, watch movies, listen to music, eat food, do a job, pay taxes, feel fear, not questioning the world. None of that is creative. Creativity, imagination, creation are the fundamental thing which separates homo sapiens from all other species in the known, documented and publicly revealed history. Inventors, questioners, creators are what move our race forwards.

There is no shame if you are not this type of person, but all who live should seek the betterment of themselves. Take note of my choice of words. Seek, not want or desire. That is the reason we exist, to grow, to become greater than we already are. If you desire to grow, then that is the problem. The desire to grow implies the individual is void of constructive purpose. This is something which must be found, and can be found by pushing the boundaries of your reality. To the man that wishes to learn, everything is a lesson. Think on this.

Constructive activity is the road which we should seek. The advancement of skill leads to the enrichment of personality leads to the enrichment of spirituality. The dancer, the artist, the actor, the philosopher, the sportsman, any and all of these are what we are looking for. Find your calling. Become better at your calling, and you are following your cosmic will, your path. If you choose to become a professional at your skill on the path, then you are not on the path. If professionalism finds you within this, then it was meant to be.

Working and acquiring money is one of our ways to exist, this is how things are, if you do not question this, see how to live beyond this, then further growth is needed. The society in which we live forces us to do this. Food provides life, and money provides food. Loved ones, and you, require food. You will require money if that is your path, if either money of food is lacking, you will seek food, or money to buy food. If one chooses to look for money, it may be found, but this desire stems from greed, and may breed arrogance or vanity with the individual, and envy or infatuation within others. Money allows us to do carry out our pastimes which we need in order to exist, we should know how much money is required. If more can be attained, then it should only be attained for constructive purpose, not to be squandered, hoarded or otherwise wasted. As you can see, desire disrupts the balance.

People will obviously have the ability to imagine and to create, to build themselves, but they do not. Why? They lack the ability to persevere, to try, to temp fate, to face adversity. They get carried along in the flow of life, mostly with nothing of substance to show for it. In the words of Geoff Thompson, “If there is no adversity, there is no advance.” Only by breaking out of the mold will you grow. You have to step up to the challenge. Put your neck on the line. Not follow the herd. Be an individual. Only then will you truly learn anything about the world, yourself, life. By viewing this as a choice, you open yourself up for indecision in the moment, and therefore the opportunity may pass you by. Reflect on this.

Desire is what holds many people up, they want something, and may never achieve it. Part and parcel of desire and wanting is lack of satisfaction. There is no way to feed and sate desire, it is will only grow and therefore must be removed. Decisions that reveal themselves should come from following the path, not through trying to achieve something. In the same vein, fulfilling one desire is a marked success, and that is often the end of that road and the start to another road of desire. Humans are designed to be unlimited. There should be no final goal or test, as these will inevitably lead to another “final goal”. Life is just one long, endless journey. Do not choose to begin this journey, ‘be’ on it and experience it. There is no start, no ending. Just the journey.

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The views of others

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 20:38:01 +0100

I have some great conversations with my parents, and since we all only exist for a blink in the lifetime of the universe, I feel the need to record them once in a while.

We were having a conversation this evening about many things. My brother has got a bunch of exams starting this week, and my mum wanted to contact him over the internet or phone to see how he is doing. But me and my dad pointed out that would probably make him worse. Its a strange concept really, but peoples sympathy is not always wanted. Sometimes it makes us feel as those empathetic individuals are questioning our ability to handle or do whatever it is we are trying to do, when really all we want is them to put their faith in us. Some people, however, are not always as competant as they believe themselves to be, and my brother is one of these people. From experience, we know that he will be dead set in his mind about how he is going to do something, but, much like our dad, it may not always be the best, and sadly he won't accept any advice or help. My dad has, in his words, mellowed with age, and so is now both more open to suggestions and other perspectives, and is a great deal more tolerant.

My mum was not sure what she would say to my brother, knowing that it would likely grate on his nerves somehow in a strange way which most of the things my parents do to my brother. I have been reading "How to talk to anyone" by Leil Lowndes (GREAT book by the way) as part of my mass self-improvement program (which is likely to last for a long time), and a technique in there addresses the lingo used when dealing with different groups of people. By using the correct words, you can appear to be an insider, or atleast on the same wavelength of the people in question, thereby allowing you to both relate to them better and gain rapport with them. This conversation made me think of this, because by asking my brother how he is doing, it will make him worse because it would reinforce the self doubt and raise further internal questions and conflicts that we all experience in times of challenge where adrenaline runs riot in our veins. Saying "good luck" obviously comes from good intentions, but this, like asking him how he is, is not going to help. The exact wording needs to be perfect as to imply the correct message. Something like "Do as well as you can" removes the expectation that comes from other statements, lacks the questioning of his abilities, and puts across the message that all he has to do is try his best. Now, obviously since he is doing physics as university, his best may not be good enough, as mine is indeed not for A level physics, but nonetheless it is all we can say that will help, for we are not there at university with him, and he is the one who will be taking the exam. I admit, too, that I often feel annoyed. Writing or explaining things like this always make one question ones own innocent or purity.

This is something else that I address. Maybe 4 or 5 years ago, my brother started talking to me, as he regularly did, and still does, about things on his mind. One such thing was how our parents had certain habits or did certain things which really annoyed him. For some reason, I don't know if its human nature or what, but I tend to subconciously copy the mannerisms of people I am around for long periods of time. For instance, I say a number of phrases my dad uses, and have certain set responses to questions. When I realise, it is possible to change these, but I often don't. Anyway, my brother started pointing these habits out, and after a while, I started to copy his behaviour, and found these things annoying too. This went on for a year or so, and grew to such a point which almost everything my dad did grated on my nerves and I started to hate being in his presence. Then one day, after hearing about various situations from others of disliking family members for manifold reasons, I had a sudden shift in thinking. I decided to think logically, deepy and diversely about everything, I thought about the kindness or intent behind certain actions, the justification that one creates for oneself when performing an action that is wrong is immoral, what it must be like to live in different conditions or circumstances, and most importantly I started to see things from other peoples perspectives. Everytime my mum or dad did something, I initially met it with distaste, but thought about it afterwards. I put myself in their shoes, and asked myself WHY i would do that. I would often get irritated by my mum talking me while I was playing a game on the computer, distracting me. But she needed to know something, such as what I wanted for dinner, or if she could put some socks away, and fundamentally they were all things with my wellbeing in their interests. The same went for my dad, the habits and routines he had formed with age, the repetitive questions he asks me, they are all so that he can create plans and schedules around me and my brother, sort of allowing us to be spoilt and unknowingly selfish.

My parents then pointed out that was what has allowed me to communicate better with people, and that my brother still needs to mentally mature, as he has not yet adopted this, and lives in his own little world to some extent. Don't get me wrong, hes still considerate and nice, but sometimes he just doesn't think. Maybe he'll pick it up in time like my dad.

In the same way, in "Fear - The Friend of Exceptional People" by Geoff Thompson, Geoff makes a point about avoiding people who feel it is their duty to remind you when you are getting above your station in life, or worry mongerers who feel the need to remind of the trouble you are in. While best to seek the encourage from those you know from experience will say the correct, positive things you need, the others. But in doing so, don't discount the others, see it from their point of view, for they are only trying to help. Unless they are jealous, in which case you need ot reassure them that you will still need them.

So, to anyone who is reading this, next time someone does something that crosses you in someway, try to see it from their point of view, ask yourself why they are doing whatever it is they are doing. You shall see who is truly at fault, and be a better person for it. In your mind, you will prioritise things better, and morality will follow. That is, assuming you aren't a heartless and selfish. Thanks for reading.

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